America falls behind..again.

Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers

Shocking CIA Revelation

CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

It's winter break.

I'm getting over a food hangover, playing with my new camera, and working out some material for my live show. Be back next week or earlier.

Stand up economics

49ers punter makes the Pro Bowl

" Power and placement, along with the NFL's best net averages, secured Pro Bowl berths for 49ers punter Andy Lee "
They forgot to mention " frequency." It's some sorry sh*t when your punter makes the pro bowl. That means he was the most puntin'est mutha in the NFL. Here's to next year and the first round draft pick we traded to the Patriots.

Trip.

This scene from Terminator 2 was filmed across the street from my office. You can read more about it here.

Pimp Down! - Ike Turner Dead.

Ike Turner passed today. He has been re-incarnated as an abused woman.

Onion News Network

Our Troops Send Holiday Wishes For Peace, Goodwill, And Body Armor

Golf Cart DUI

This fool decided to drive his golf cart all the way home..drunk.

Onion News Network

Evangeline Lilly Wins 'Best Wet T-Shirt Fight Scene' At Strong Women In TV Awards

"Guar-an-tee! Guar-an-tee!"

Earlier this week Anthony Smith (DB Steelers #27) "guaranteed" a victory against the Patriots. Well, that's not exactly how it turned out. As a matter of fact, the Patriots abused him like a redheaded step child that stole something. The final score was New England 34 and the Steelers 13. Even the fans got in on the action, chanting "Guar-an-tee! Guar-an-tee!" as the final seconds ticked down. I'm a 49ers fan, so I can only dream of a sub plot this interesting at one of our games. You can see #27 getting beat at :13.

Hatton gets smacked.

I sense no humor in this. I lost 5$.

Dog House back on the air (internet)

Elvis and JV are back! These dudes owned Bay Area morning radio for a decade. They got fired back in 2005 and went to New York. They got fired from the NY gig earlier this year. The dudes are hilarious. They are now streaming their show daily on the internet. The internet affords them the option to use any word they choose to describe a stupid person (i.e. asshole, fucknut). You can listen to their internet show here.

Thanks to the Hef Dog for pointing this nugget out.

Nip/Fuct

This Lady paid 5K for a but implant. The implant made her ass look like an old man's belly. The anchor can't even get through the story without laughing.